Remember to vote… the battle is fierce and our Viking Warriors are falling in the battle?
Shhhhh be still, close your eyes, listen… It is coming. Can you feel it? As I sit here in the darkness remembering the past, those distant memories, I can feel the future storms coming upon us soon!
I try to keep the feeling at bay, try not to think of what lies ahead for us all but tis very hard… the waiting is at times unbearable! I find myself unable to focus or concentrate on the work at hand that I must try to finish before that future arrives in just a few weeks from now. Tis not nearly as hard during the daylight when there is much else, much other work to keep my thoughts occupied on. Alone in my small space in the deepest of night though, when I should be at rest, my mind whirls with the past and the future that looms so close now. I usually use this time to record my thoughts as tis not wise or safe for me to display this work to others… My thoughts are a jumble and I know I will not complete my task of recording the past before the next journey begins. I worry that once the new journey begins, I will have no time to properly document this important early past. Tonight is wasted and I must rise soon to get on with the chores of life. I have but a moment now to put down a few scattered thoughts on those earliest days. As always seems to happen with me, my mind wanders to Rollo, his past and his future that I worry so about? Many ask why I continue to remain so loyal and so faithful to this man, and to that other one- Siggy? They warn me that no good will come from such alliances. Even Siggy oft warns me that I should not keep myself in the middle of this mess… But, I can not go back on my allegiance nor can I sway my mind or heart from the idea that I am on the path that I should be? There are other places I could be, safer places possibly- but perhaps not? I will write of that later. For tonight, I think back on those earliest days of Rollo. I know that despite his many errors in judgement, his impulsive actions, and his feelings of resentment, even in the beginning there was something within him that spoke of his worth?
One memory stands out. While he was admittedly a warrior born and bred, knew of little else… yes he was vicious and fiercer than many others but he had, and yet still does hold something within that many of those other warriors lack? He has compassion, and a heart. I do think that at times, he thinks and acts with more what is in his heart than what is common sense and logical? On their early raid of Northumbria, when many things went wrong, Rollo showed his compassion. He came across this ailing old Saxon man who was unable to put up any sort of fight or resistance. Rollo could easily have killed the old man, but instead chose to offer the man a drink? Of course, he did later take the man’s meager possession of any worth- the cup… but, for all purposes, the man would most likely have no need of it much longer anyway. What Rollo did do in those few moments was offer the old man comfort rather than fear of a bloody death. For all of Rollo’s words of war and slaughter, it is these actions that speak far louder for his worthiness and his greatness. He chooses not to admit to these such actions for feeling that they will make him look less of a warrior, but really these are the actions that I hold on to and cause me to see that there is far more to him than just a Warrior!
I think of Rollo’s many struggles to become that great warrior, that great man… the many times he has failed in the past and been at the bottom seemingly without hope or redemption and yet managed to find the inner strength to go on? Every man must face his demons and his downfalls. All must face that bottom in order to learn and to climb up and appreciate what they have achieved. At times, it seems that the Gods much favor Ragnar. He has achieved great glory but even Ragnar must face that bottom and climb back up. Tis a much harder fall from such a high point as Ragnar’s? Rollo has met his bottom already, numerous times and is used to the climb back up. It has given him strength and a deeper will to fight for a better future!
And, now with those thoughts of Rollo on my mind, I must try to sleep!