Eleanor’s journal entries 44

Guinivere's guidance

My Mother became my teacher and my guide as we walked throughout the Castle. We stopped occasionally and stood silent as she instructed me to trail my fingertips along the walls, feel them and listen to the sound of the very faint vibrating hums coming from them. She explained that the sound was all of the mingled noises and voices captured forever in the stone. She taught me to clear my mind and imagine a blank white slate in front of my closed eyes. Her words were soft and gentle, calm but stern all in the same…She was guiding and easing me into a meditative state and stayed with me, encouraged me when my attention faltered away and the throughts strayed.

She spoke and placed a time to search in. “You must narrow your search to the time of the boys, 1483. Once that is clearer to you, then think of the boys in the tower, anyone who might have connection or thoughts of them or of Richard III at the time…” She paused, “Of course there might still be a great many thoughts by any numbers who had opinions or musings on the situation of the time. But, you should be able to glimpse some images or voices that you might recognize.”

Guinivere explained that part of the reason that I was suited to this journey was that I had been in this time and knew many of these people so would recognize some of possible importance in the images or the voices.

As she and Judith stayed by my side and kept me calm, I did begin to see images of some that I knew… at first they were blurred, much out of focus, and flickering. The voices were still a muted buzz of indiscriminate sounds. Guinivere told me to pick out one such flickering image and focus more intently on just that one.

Lady Margaret

I saw a glimpse of Lady Margaret and turned my attentions to her. As I concentrated on her, she appeared more clearly until it was as if she were in the room with us… but it was not here in the hall that she was.

I struggled to understand this and lost the image. Guinivere whispered, “Take a moment to regroup yourself, it was a trace of her you felt here. It means that she passed through this hall with her thoughts on this subject. Try to regain her image and follow her to where else she might have been at the time.”

I closed my eyes once more and thought of Lady Margaret. She came more quickly into my focus this time and I was able to do as Guinivere suggested. I followed her down the steps to the landing room. It was empty now but at one time, it held throngs of people, belongings and items going to and from the ships. Guinivere helped me to keep all of the many people and voices out and see only Margaret.

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She was standing near the windows, looking out as if waiting for someone. I ventured to pick out her thoughts… Lord Thomas appeared, along with another man. He looked somewhat familiar. Perhaps I had been introduced in some manner to him in my childhood but at this moment I could not pin a name to his face. While Margaret stood apart, still watching out the window, Lord Thomas was involved in some serious discussion with this man.

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Guinivere silently nudged my mind to veer to Lord Thomas’ thoughts, which she suggested would give way to the other man’s identity and purpose. The other man was Sir Robert Brackenbury, the Constable of the Tower. He was in charge of all that went on in the tower and held all of the keys to it. My mind was guided to pay much closer attention to them, to see if I could bring about their conversation of this moment. I could make out little of it, save for words from Brackenbury of some orders from Richard and an answer from Lord Stanley about the King’s meeting of which they were waiting on to see this matter settled.

I turned my thoughts back to Lady Margaret. She looked much in distress. A glimpse into her mind showed me a meeting between she and Queen Elizabeth and her young daughter. They were in the sanctuary quarters where Elizabeth and her children were safely residing for the time. Guinivere bade me follow that thought in Margaret’s mind to see what might come of it.

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It felt as though now, I was in that apartment with them. It was quiet but for the soft strum of their voices. I stilled all other thoughts and listened closely. Their conversation became clearer but still difficult to understand as they were speaking quite softly.

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Margaret’s words were whispered more forcefully, “I can do naught for you right now. I am but trying to save myself and my own family at this time. I have come only to advise you, upon my husband’s suggestion, to go along with what ever is put before you…” Her voice carried a harsh tone of bitterness, but also a hint of appeasement, “You must do what you feel you need be done, and all I can offer you is a promise of the future when I and my son have come through this ordeal with a crown on his head where it rightly belongs.”

Elizabeth’s words were harder to discern as she spoke in a much quieter and contemplative manner, “Ahhh then, I have much to think of now, do I not… Must put weight upon these options for all of us.”

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The younger Elizabeth said not a word but appeared in some deep thought and condsideration of the intense discussion between the two older women. Margaret prepared to leave but had a warning, “I must take my leave, my husband keeps me under much guard these days and is waiting for my return. Richard will arrive soon and you must decide upon your course of action to safegaurd you and yours just as I have had to.” As she parted, she left a last comment, “Does it make a difference who wears the crown… be it a he or a she and if your and yours are all safe from harm?”

Margaret’s thoughts of that meeting faded and we were back at the window gazing out and thinking of the conversation between her husband and Brackenbury.

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Lord Thomas was grim, “I like not any of this. I am in enough danger already, I do not need more of the like. I am telling you that he will not go along with this far fetched plan you have concocted in order to keep yourself safe and your consciense clear. This is a high risk you take and none will take kindly to you holding such over their heads.”

Robert Brackenbury responded in his own defense, “Well, I will not be a party to murdering innocent children of Royal bloodlines. I am of a mind that this will work and he will see it my way.”

Lord Thomas spoke in disgust, “No, you will not be a party to murdering innocents of Royal blood, you have no such qualms about some poor unfortunate serfs though do you?” He continued in anger, “I will admit that I have ever walked a fine line and even crossed it occasionally to benefit myself and my household, but what your are proposing galls even me.”

Brackenbury shrugged and replied, “These are treacherous times for all of us and we must take what ever measures need be to protect ourselves. I am of the opinion that this will set better with him than that of being outright repsonsible for the deaths of his nephews.”

Their conversation ended and their attention went to the young Elizabeth who had appeared in the room. I felt the hands of Guinivere and Judith squeezing mine tightly, as well as their thoughts focusing along with mine. We strained to hear the conversation taking place between her and Lord Thomas.

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She spoke so softly, barely above a whisper, “Lord Thomas, I would have a word with you…” she asked and pulled him away from Brackenbury.

Lord Thomas bowed in respect to her, “Of course my Lady Elizabeth. I am at your disposal…”

The young woman glanced around to see if anyone was too close by before going on, “I would ask your sound advice on a matter of grave importance, I believe you know what it may concern.” she asked him and lowered her eyes to the ground.

Lord Thomas appeared uneasy, “I can only assume that it is in regard to the matters of which my wife spoke to you and your Lady Mother, the Queen.”

She nodded her head and kept her eyes lowered as she replied slowly, “I should know what gaurantees, what consquences there should be in recourse of my actions.”

Lord Thomas answered her in some firm words, “Gaurantees, my Lady? None of us has gaurantees of what comes next to us in life. All we do is put our foot forward with some hope, some faith and some luck that the wheel will bring us up rather further down… and that therein lies the consequences. If luck or faith not be with us, if we put our hopes upon the wrong turn, we shall surely be on the down turn, even it may look as though we could not go much deeper down than we already are. All I can assure you of at this moment is that, done properly, one way or another you would wear a crown.”

She was silent for a moment, then started to walk away but turned to reply, “Thank you, Lord Stanley. Though you skillfully avoided my question, you have yet answered it in your own fashion. You may tell him that I shall await him.”

Richard III

One thought on “Eleanor’s journal entries 44

  1. Pingback: Eleanor’s journal entries 44 | Lady Eleanor DeGuille's private journal

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