Eleanor’s journal entries 37

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When they finally made their way into the castle, they seemed much agitated and on edge? They kept looking around as though searching to see others beside us in the entry way… Judith mentioned that they thought they had seen others out in the courtyard? Richard and Bradley were quite pale and silent, looking as if they were trying hard to maintain some noble, knightly, manly control? As Judith tried to explain, they nervously made attempts to interrupt her and make excuses for what ever it was they might have thought they saw? They made their attempts but continued to look around the room.

Judith refused to be ignored, “There were others out there! A woman and two small boys? They appeared in a mist or fog out there after the storm had already cleared!” I do give Judith credit, for as much shaken as she was, she did try to remain calm and not give into panic. “They were standing out there together and when we called out to them, they disappeared into the fog? The whole courtyard was filled with a dense fog and we could barely see anything then… we thought maybe they had come into the castle?”

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Elizabeth had listened intently to Judith’s story then interrupted, “A woman in a long red dress with dark hair, and two small boys- one light, one dark haired?” Judith nodded and Elizabeth went on, “They are the same ones that I saw before and Gerard told me I was imagining things!” She looked at Gerard and slapped his arm, “You see! I am not crazy!”

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Gerard rubbed his arm and winced, “First of all, I never accused you of being crazy! In fact, I told you that the Castle was most likely filled with ghosts of it’s past and you should not panic in crazy fear over them?”

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He grew quite serious then and spoke to us, “This Castle is full of spiritual energies…Those three are but a few of them, I am quite sure of that! The problem lies in how much negative energy and power the spirits may be carrying with them?” He paused for a moment then continued,
“We do not know who any of them are, why they are here or what they might be searching for or trying to tell us?”

All of us looked at him somewhat confused… I looked around and it relieved me to notice that I was not the only one who did not quite understand all of what he was trying to tell us? I knew little of ghosts or spirits other than what my church bade me to know… that they were unholy demons and apparitions of the devil? I had never put too much stock in the over zealous preachings of my day but it left me with that ever constant fear of the unknown!

Gerard saw our looks and tried to explain in a way we might comprehend. “Spirits who remain earthbound, who do not make their way forward to where they should, they remain for some reasons known only to them? Sometimes, they remain for such a simple reason as searching for something or someone that they thought important to know, to share, to bid farewell to before leaving? Some of them have something of value whether a material thing, or a thought, or information that only they know… that they feel they need to pass to someone. It is like they have not finished what they needed to do and will not leave until the matter is settled?” He shook his head in some troubled thought, “Those are the easy ones to help? Reach out to them, help them in this task and they will gladly go forward… Others easy to assist are ones who are simply lost? There are ones who may have died so suddenly that they truly aren’t sure where they are… they are caught in some sort of limbo and need to be reassured and pointed in the right direction? The most difficult ones are those who remain because they choose it. They are ones who seek revenge for some past greviance of their life or their death.”

Gerard closed his eyes for a moment, paused and waited for this information to sink in with us, “Those last are the ones with the most powerful and negative energy? Sometimes they may have spent an eternity holding their grudges at mortal life, building more negative energy all the while. These are generally the ones that haunt and cause the most chaos to where ever they remain? Sometimes too, a spirit chooses to stay because they refuse to accept what may await them when they go on? They may have done unspeakable acts in their life time which they will be accountable for when they go on… So, rather than face their judgements as they should, they simply refuse to go on?”

Gerard’s reasonings made some sense but did not really put us at any more ease with the situation in this place? I stood there thinking for a time then commented, “So, now you have explained the basis for spirits… how we might help some of them that may be here… But, I know some of the history of this place as you do, Gerard, and I dare say it is most likely filled with the sort who have good reason to hold resentment and grudge at the circumstances of their deaths?” I hugged myself closely, sighed and went on, “Who knows how many souls may be wandering these halls seeking their retribution and their revenge?” My last thought and question to him was, “What has all of this to do with us now, here in the present? Could all of this negative energy, as you call it, have some affects on the Valley and the Time Slips?”

Everyone, including Gerard looked at me in some surprise? Gerard smiled and commented, “I always knew you had a keen mind, Eleanor! You have just hit upon the exact theory I have been researching!”

I gave everyone a look of some reprove, “What, you all had not thought of this? And, What? You are surprised that I, a medieval Lady of lesser training and knowledge should be able to discern this?” I made a sound of unladylike disgust, “I may not have been trained in such weighty book learning, but I have experienced more than any of you on just my wits and survived to be here! So, while I may not put forth all of such intelligence as the rest of you, I do question everything in my mind and make my own efforts to sort it out!”

They all looked a bit guilty for their thoughts but did not deny that they had them of me? I was much annoyed but did not let it bother me too much as I could well understand their reasons.

I turned my attentions back to Gerard, “I would hear more of this reasearch? John has told me that you are in need of my assistance on it and that I may have some abilities that might aid in it?” I was still not completely sure of Gerard, given our past, but for the present time I was willing to try to work with him and set my personal feelings aside?

Gerard gave a sigh of what might look as relief that I was ageeable? “John has told me of your abilities to see events of the past, and to share them as they are happening? As you know the events of this place, I thought that you might be able to see some of those events and those whose spirits might remain here?” He cautiously continued, “I understand that your skills are not well trained and that it might be difficult for you? I aplogize for that, as I do not mean to put you under even more duress than you already are. I would not have asked for your assistance if I thought there were any other options?”

He looked at me thoughtfully, “Eleanor, I know well your feelings about me, and I completely understand your hesitance and reluctance to deal with me on any level. I take full responsibility and you have every right to feel as you do?” He looked downwards at his hands as he spoke again, “I can only apologize for my previous actions and hope that at some point in the future you can forgive me. For now, we can settle upon the fact that we work together for the sake and well being of others?”

I closed my eyes for a moment to summon my inner calm. I reached my hand out his and touched it lightly, feeling a warmth I would not have expected or thought possible in him. “Yes, for now, we can set those past greviences aside…” I quietly added, “I suppose we have only to look around this place to see what holding to past greviences and grudges can lead to?”

One thought on “Eleanor’s journal entries 37

  1. Pingback: Eleanor’s journal entries 37 | Lady Eleanor DeGuille's private journal

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