Eleanor’s Journal entries 20

Late one evening, we sat together in the library and John approached the subject of our transformations. He sat close to me, close enough for me to feel his nearness in a way that I was still trying to get used to? When ever he was near to me, my senses hieghtened and somewhere deep inside of me, I felt a warmth and vibrations. It was not easy for me to ignore the feeling and it caused me some discomfort? I was not one who had ever been a touchy, feely type… I was not a demonstritive, hugging kind in any way. Perhaps it was because I was not raised or ever treated to such actions as a child? What ever the reason, physical shows of emotion were not ones which I was ever comfortable with showing or receiving. Now, with John, I was extremely torn by a desire to touch him, be touched by him, and the ever lingering unease of the feelings? I also felt, knew instinctively that the reactions, the sensations between us when we touched were not the normal sensations that others might feel when touching someone? Occasionally when we would touch, my skin would glow and I could feel John’s skin heating?
I knew that John felt the same things… he tried hard not to physically touch me during this time. He told me that we did not need that added distraction and stress right now? We could, and would deal with this matter later when I was feeling stronger both physically and emotionally? My inward thoughts on all of this were, What if I should never become stronger? What if this state was one of permanence? It troubled me much and I wept at the thought!
That night in the library, John soothed my worries with his mind rather than his touch, something he was doing much of lately! He did not intrude on my innermost thoughts, but directed his thoughts and images towards the surface, the edges of my distress. I do not know how he did it, I did not care! All that mattered was that he cared enough for me to comfort me in what ever ways he was able! Sometimes, I wondered that he shouldn’t be in great distress after being within my scattered and jumbled thoughts? He laughed when I voiced this concern and commented, “I have been in far worse minds than yours Eleanor! But, yes there are time when I do feel a need for a stiff drink to calm myself after fighting through the maze of your mind? Tis like being in a battle surrounded and not quite knowing where to go next… I am not surprised that you suffer from the headaches!”
I had to smile at his description of my mind and agree, “Yes! I feel like that much of the time… If only I had a sword and armor with which to defend myself, I might fare better in the war and not always feel like I was losing ground and the battles!” I sighed ,leaned back against the sofa that we shared and closed my eyes for a few moments to enjoy the peace which his thoughts gave me!

We sat there together silently for a short time, wrapped in the comfort of each other. I had discovered that we need not touch physically to feel the calm of being together?
John knew that I was relaxed enough to go on with our much necessary discussion. I felt good that he understood me enough to know that we should speak of all of this… He could have easily enough just planted all of the information into my mind? He knew though that my mind would not bear such an onslaught well and it would go far better if we talked through it!

John stared at me for a moment, hesitating before he spoke, “I am not even sure where to begin with all of this, Eleanor? There is so much to tell you, so much for you to take in and understand. Now, it is time for you to remember my advice of earlier… You must keep your mind open and seek to know the hidden secrets. You must take care not to judge, yourself, or anyone else for that matter until you know their stories and their reasons for their actions?” He looked to me for my acceptance and agreement on this.
I took a deep breath and calmed myself, “I need to know all of the answers, John, it is the only way I can sort this all out?”
John responded, “In time, you shall have all of your answers! For now, let us start at the beginnings of it and work our way through it all. “

He started unraveling some of the past for me with his story of my earliest childhood…

“First of all, I must assure you Eleanor, that even though you have felt like it, you have never been truly alone on your journies through time. There have been many individuals watching over you, trying to protect you and keep you as safe as possible throughout all of this. Some, whom you might think were your enemies, were actually attempting to save you and guide you towards your destiny and your safety. Others, like me, you were never aware of?”
When I showed my confusion, he stilled me and went on, “I have been watching over you since your birth! You were a special infant, born to a Royal bloodline, one far greater than what you think? It was my duty to watch and protect you at all costs. I know that you understand little of this right now so I will try to explain briefly?”
He set about explaining to me a far greater world and history than I was ever aware of? Of ancient times, of ancient bloodlines that shared our world. Once they had shared it peacefully, but over time that peace had deteriorated and the world’s people were in danger of destroying each other and themselves. There was set in place a very hidden high council of representitives from each bloodlines, each realm of beings, who would seek peace among their peoples and guide them all to a better future. This Council set rules for each realm to follow, worked together and in reality, they were the govorning force behind all of the happenings in the world?

I did not comprehend all of it? John assured me that it was an extremely complex concept to understand and I should concern myself with just the basics of it for now? What I needed to understand was that all of the legends of other beings and bloodlines were true. Of course, I was evidence of that now, as was John… I could hardly deny it any longer!
When he thought I had grasped this information, he continued with his explanations.
When I was born, it was not determined whether I carried fairie blood in me or not? Sometimes, the bloodline and genetics do not pass down. This concept of genetics, I did not quite understand until John put it in simple terms for me. I shall admit that I was never fond of all of the sciences in my meager education! He stated it quite easily for me. It was the fact that when a child is born, it inherits traits from each parent such as eye color, hair, all of those physical traits which are obvious, as well as inner traits which are not discernable? Sometimes, a child will be born looking like neither parent… but more like a distant relative or ancestor. I understood that, had seen it happen often? Sometimes a trait may not appear until a child was older, or even an adult. Such as in cases where a person might inherit a disease or afflition that would not manifest itself until later in life. I understood that as well, having seen on occasion, a person becoming ill later with the same symptoms that had taken another family member.
John explained that was what had happened now to both of us at the same time! He did not explain why it might have happened like this, only that it had and we must deal with it.

As I tried to understand it all, he slowly told me of his past, of his parents. He did not seem to relish discussing them but said it was because of their later family issues and not necessarily because of his feelings for them? His parents were of two different ancient bloodlines….his Mother, an ancient witch, and his Father, an even more ancient Vampyre. Most agreed that their relationship should never have produced any offspring? It was extremely rare when the two bloodlines mixed and resulted in a child that lived or survived to adulthood. And, on those rare times when they did survive, they were often afflicted with serious illnesses and instablities. As he spoke of this, I saw him clench his fists and his close his eyes tightly as if to block out some painful memory?
I felt that pain within him and without a thought, reached for his hand… I cared not if there would be discomfort or unease in the touch for myself. At that moment, my only thought was to bring him some ease? I willed my thoughts of comfort through my fingers to his. Having never done anything like this before, I was surprised to look at him and see his puzzled look, then feel the calm seeping through his blood? I sat there holding his hand in mine while he let the comfort of my thoughts sink in.

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